Read all about it

Pop-ups are getting cleverer, aren’t they? This evening, having read poetry aloud to myself until joyously contented, I went in search of some W.B. Yeats. I’ve always meant to love Yeats, and have never yet made the time. When I clicked on his Poetry Archive page, I was also given the exciting opportunity to ‘choose from one of these great smilies [install our great Trojan virus on your computer]!!!’. I did not seize on this opportunity, of course, as the only people who do so are old age pensioners, who have the viable excuse of grappling with a complex new technology, and idiots, who have no excuse at all.

Then I got this one:


It’s a fake newspaper! There are fake banner headlines, fake links to other news stories (all of which lead to the same web address), and a fake Barbie-doll reporter, investigating the miracle diet pills for the greater good of the British public. The fearless, fictional Karen wanted to lose ten pounds for her wedding, although judging by her photograph, I’d say losing ten pounds would put her in danger of poking people’s eyes out with her collarbones. Undaunted, she tried the diet pills with colonic irrigation, and, wouldn’t you know it, the weight just melted off. It’s a beautiful miracle, Karen! The world must know of this immediately! 

They even went to the trouble of making a fake comments page at the bottom, although they slipped up a bit when they accidentally assigned a male comment to someone called Linda. Please, Linda, leave your shirt on. For all our sakes.

I was impressed in spite of myself: what a lot of effort to go to. Though really, if you’re taking the time to design and write a newspaper, at least write it in passable English. The sentence ‘New Swine Flu cases emerge and so are concerns of it spreading further’ made me want to jam pencils into my eyes. Or maybe just Karen’s collarbones.

I never did get to any Yeats.


Talk to me! I'll put the kettle on.

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