Welcome to Cold Comfort Farm

Me: You know that bruise on my eye?

Tim: Yep?

Me: It’s not a bruise. I think I’m getting a stye.

Tim: Urgh!

Me: I’ve never had one before. Have you?

Tim: No, I just know they’re really huge and ugly and painful and don’t go away for weeks and weeks.

Me: Oh. Do you know how to get rid of them?

Tim: No, that’s all I know.

Me: Right.

Sometimes, it’s just better to turn to Google.

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