Fatty (12 weeks)

Hooray for milestones! TJ is -6 months today, and while I don’t feel much different from yesterday, I do feel like we’ve achieved something, he/she and I. He has reached the impressive size of a plum and grown some phalanges, and I’ve got through another month at work and become a world-class expert at sucking in stomach bulges. The later it gets, or the more I’ve eaten, the harder it is to prevent myself from looking like it was me, in fact who Ate All The Pies. (Note: I don’t at all mind growing a belly – the novelty of getting fat without recrimination and having to buy lots of new clothes seems like a wonderful thing to me – but while nobody knows about it, it’s awkward). So wear a long scarf. Sit close to the desk. Cross your arms a lot. Don’t go to the printer very much, and if you must, make yourself as tall as possible to stretch out the stomach. And then I get home, undo my belt, and see how many things I can balance on my huge belly. It’s all go in this house at the moment, I can tell you.

My scan is on Tuesday. To say I CANNOT WAIT would be an extreme understatement. I hope we catch him or her in the act of licking my uterus, because why else did he need a tongue so early? I ask you.

PS – A very bad idea to watch ‘One Born Every Minute’ for the first time. I can’t cope with little blue babies – I was sobbing into my duvet after five minutes.