I was hanging up some laundry. Henry was ‘helping’. When hanging up laundry, it’s important that someone in the team takes on the role of chewing washing machine tablets, and Henry is my guy.
Oh my good golly, I thought. (I do think like this; blame Enid Blyton.)
I have not set foot outside this house for three days.
I froze. I had to sit down. Henry took advantage of my inattention to dive headfirst into the washing machine.
Know what I’ve been doing instead? Well, washing up, tidying, supervising naps and persuading reluctant scrambled eggs into Henry’s reluctant mouth, since you ask.
But also: watching film trailers. You guys, the rest of 2012 is an embarrassment of riches. Here are the five I’m most excited about, in date order – get out your filofax.
1) The Dark Knight Rises: 20th July
Christopher Nolan’s third and – supposedly – final foray into a Batman so broody even his helmet looks sad.
Expect: Christian Bale’s Silent Heartache Face (TM), face masks for everyone, lots of stuff blowing up.
2) Anna Karenina: 7th September
I love a good emotional literary adaptation. This one being especially welcome, because it means I won’t have to get to the end of Tolstoy’s original.
Expect: Keira Knightley’s Period Drama Jaw (TM), flouncy dresses, and the campest Russian moustache since Czar Nicholas the Second.
3) Skyfall: 26th October
Bond, James Bond etc, still working off his heartache by shooting guns, crashing cars and wearing dinner jackets LIKE A BOSS.
Expect: Daniel Craig. Looking craggy. Growing an Anger Beard. Shooting people. Jacking it all in and going on holiday to Marbella. No, I jest. Shooting people some more.
4) The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: 14th December
It’s over a decade since Peter Jackson’s Middle Earth first came to the screen (no, really – argh), and he felt he hadn’t really mined the dwarf beard for its full potential. Hence, the Hobbit, Part 1.
Expect: hobbits and trolls and dwarves and dragons. Martin Freeman’s Face of Gentle Bewilderment (TM). And beards. Many beards.
5) The Great Gatsby: 26th December
F. Scott Fitzgerald’s masterpiece in Baz Luhrmann glitter. Leonardo Di Caprio, Toby Maguire, Carey Mulligan, twenties outfits…if this doesn’t make your Christmas, you need a Ghost from Christmas Past.
Expect: music, lights, lots of good actors dressed up like they’re attending Elton John’s christening party. And pure fabulousness, that too.
With the new Les Miserables adaptation – Russell Crowe! Singing, probably! – and Quentin Tarantino’s western effort Django Unchained both following in January, you have every reason to love your life and everything in it for the next six months.
Um. We’ll be looking for babysitters, if anyone’s offering.