un: Sleep without 6am toddler alarm. Oh, my. Sleep of the heavily sedated.
deux: No matter how hungry you are, you can’t get through more than two-and-a-half proper pain au chocolat for breakfast. They are as big as a human foot, and twice as calorie-laden. They are also so delicious I could eat one a day for the rest of my life, and I would laugh with abandon even as I developed Type 2 diabetes.
trois: Our morning stroll through La Marais took us to Place des Vosges, the oldest planned square in Paris, and we looked round Victor Hugo’s house at the bottom end. I couldn’t tell whether the furniture was actually his, or has been curated from contemporary pieces. It seems a bit odd for Victor to put a giant bust of his own head in the dining room, and I can’t quite believe that his legs were so short as to need a three-foot-long bed. Still, you know artists. With tiny legs and that massive forehead, he must’ve been a gift for cartoonists.
quatre: After gelato, we headed for the Musee d’Orsay. The walk wasn’t long, but then it was. Terribly, horribly. Because I’d forgotten to schedule a toilet break, and these days that is serious business. We walked along the Seine, partially for a change of scene, partially so that if I really was about to pee my pants (and worse, oh, much worse) I could at least do it under the comparative privacy of Pont Neuf. The cobbles didn’t help. When we reached the museum, I was making noises only dogs can hear. Then the queue was about five hours long. No, it wasn’t. But by the time we got inside, through security and to the ticket office, with me jiggling and groaning all the way, it might as well have been. I don’t know the French for ‘please don’t make me stain the floor so close to a Van Gogh’. I wish I did.
cinq: If I am good enough to get to heaven, I want it to look like the Musee d’Orsay. The building is stunningly beautiful. The paintings are the sort that make you cry when you get close-up. We also saw the exhibition on Dark Romanticism, which turned out to be an unsettling, twilit wander through Goya and the gothic. It was all just magnificent, and I wanted to embrace the nearest Rodin and tell it I’ll love it forever and ever. After this we went home and found an incredible creperie for dinner, and it was basically the best day of my entire life.