A list of things my baby is louder than, according to Science*

1. city traffic

2. trombone

3. rubbish truck

4. subway train

5. the sound I made when my nail cracked on a drawer this morning

6. jackhammer

7. farm tractor

8. jet take-off at 100 metres

9. the apple hitting Newton’s head

10. power lawn mower

11. motorbike

12. vacuum cleaner

13. all birds known by ornithologists

14. freight train at 15 metres

15. newspaper press

16. being slapped by a wet fish

17. car wash

18. any noise made by a human

19. helicopter at 100 feet

20. your 5am despair

*according to the decibel recorder I downloaded from the app store this morning. Kid has some brass lungs.